Doubting Thomas

Acts 4:32-35

Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

John 20:19-31

19 When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21 Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." 22 When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." 24 But Thomas (who was called the Twin ), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe." 26 A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." 27 Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe." 28 Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" 29 Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." 30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. 31 But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah,the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

"Doubting Thomas"

When I woke up in a room at the Glendale, Arizona Hampton Inn on January 11^th, 2011, I laid there for a few minutes as I got my bearings. “Did last night really happen?” this life-long Auburn fan, granddaughter of a former Auburn football team captain, orange and blue blood girl asked herself. “Did we really win the national championship only a few short hours ago?” And it all came flooding back—the images from the day before—of cheering for the Tiger Walk, of being surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of thousands of Auburn fans, of seeing an eagle fly before the game, of dancing to “All I Do is Win,” of seeing the band running out of the tunnel, of watching the best football game ever take place. I looked at my game ticket and thought to myself that it was true. And just to make sure, I reminded my friends in the bed next to me as they began to stir, “Hey y’all. We’re national champions!” You see, I’m not sure I would have actually believed it if I had stayed here and watched it on tv. I had to see it live, to hear the sounds and see the fans and cheer for the players and feel the tears stream down my face at the end. I had to, just to know and believe that it had really happened. I had to see if for myself, hear it for myself, smell and touch it for myself, all to know that one of my few life-long dreams had come to fruition. It was true. One of the best days of my life for this Auburn girl. It was true!

And on a much larger and deeper and more important scale so many years ago, Thomas was feeling the same way. Thomas, along with his friends, had just experienced one of the worst things they could ever imagine. They had spent so much time following Jesus, listening and learning from him, serving and healing for him. They had heard him say that he was soon going to leave this life, heard him predict it, but somehow never could believe for themselves that it could really be true. But the prediction came to reality—Jesus’ words about how he would soon die, soon leave the earth. It really must have been so incredibly hard for Thomas and the others, to see their friend, their Lord, crucified so cruelly on the cross, to realize that he was gone. If you, like I, have ever lost someone you loved so much, then you can feel their pain, their emptiness, their sense of loss, their devastation.

But just a few days later, new news was starting to spread—great news, news of new life. The others had heard it, seen it for themselves. Jesus, who had been so horribly killed just a few days earlier, appeared to those who were gathered. He greeted them with the best words imaginable, “Peace be with you.” I am here now. Your sadness and horror and grief can end. I’m here. But Thomas missed it, missed the boat, missed the news. They tried to tell him that Jesus was alive, that he had come to them and granted them such deeply-needed peace. But Thomas just couldn’t believe it for himself, couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And he certainly couldn’t allow himself to feel the joy that the others were feeling, the happiness, the peace. Not until he saw it for himself, anyway: “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands,” he said, “and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Unless I see it, I can’t believe it. Unless I feel the marks, I simply can’t allow myself to feel the happiness and the peace of new life.

Then, a few days later, Jesus, knowing how Thomas was feeling, appeared to him, granted the peace to Thomas for which he was so desperately yearning. “Peace be with you, friend. Here I am. Here are my hands, here is my side. Touch the nail marks. Feel and believe.” Thomas reached his hands out, touched, felt, felt the peace and comfort and new life that Jesus had brought. Thomas’ response was short and simple, “My Lord and my God!” It was true! The best and most wonderful news had triumphed over such horror and pain and devastation. Thomas had to feel it for himself, to sense and smell it for himself, to touch it for himself to know. Lord, indeed. Peace, indeed.

You know, interesting things have been said about Thomas over the years, about his reaction to Christ’s resurrection and appearance to those who were gathered those days. Some have called him faithful, some faithless. Some have called him skeptical and some stupid. Some have seem mystified about how Thomas could be full of such doubt, some have understood. And I wonder the same. Sometimes I read this story and think, “Thomas, how could you have not gotten it?” But, really, I think that I probably would have reacted the same way. Sometimes I can be skeptical, sometimes stubborn. I really want to think about the pain he must have been in when his friend was killed, how much despair he must have felt. And knowing that I have felt the same way a few times in my life, I can understand how much Thomas wanted to believe, yet struggled. Of how he wanted to celebrate but couldn’t allow himself to lest he get let down and hurt and devastated one more time if it wasn’t true. I get how Thomas had to feel the nail marks for himself in order to truly come out of his fog and believe the best news of all. Unless I see, I will not believe.

I love how gracious Jesus was with Thomas here. He could have smacked him over the head and said, “Really, Thomas? C’mon, dude.” But he didn’t. He slowly and graciously appeared to Thomas, holding out his hands, showing his side. He let Thomas touch him and take it all in. And Thomas believed that the news was true. They all did. They saw and believed.

Although the text doesn’t give us a sense of Jesus’ tone with Thomas here, I’ll be willing to bet that it was gentle, instructive, but gentle: “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” I think that Jesus was instructing Thomas here, but he was also saying something to us, to all of us who would come later. He was saying something to the audience of John’s gospel, those for whom John was writing but weren’t alive to see the resurrection for themselves. Jesus was saying something for them, saying something for all of us, all of us who would come long after Thomas, long after the hearers of John’s gospel. Thomas and the others got to feel the nail marks, see Jesus before them, hear the words come from his mouth. But not all of us. We didn’t get to see the horror and feel the pain of Good Friday when Jesus was murdered on the cross. We didn’t get to stand with the women with disbelief on our faces when as the tomb stood empty. We didn’t get to be locked in that room with the disciples to actually hear Jesus say, “Peace be with you.” And, unlike Thomas, we have never been able to feel the marks of the nails on Jesus’ flesh. Jesus said it to Thomas, and he says it to all of us: “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

So, how do we believe? And most importantly, how do others come to believe through us—through us who call ourselves followers of the risen Christ, through us who are called to share the gospel through word and deed? We are called to believe by hearing the Word, the Word found in Scripture, proclaimed in our lives as we gather to pray, to sing, to read, to listen, to think. Although Jesus Christ may not be standing live in front of us, live in front of us so that we can physically touch his flesh and his wounds, Jesus Christ comes to us through the Word, the living Word that is left for all of us. Jesus Christ comes alive for us as the Holy Spirit moves and breathes and winds its way through us, as it inspires and enables us.

Barbara Brown Taylor says that the story of Christ is the living word, that “the story is already alive, with or without us. God wants us to be part of it—to sob on Palm Sunday, to wash each other’s feet on Maundy Thursday, to fast on Good Friday, to laugh out loud on Easter Sunday—in these and a thousand other ways, to be part of Jesus Christ’s risen life on earth—so that the brave, fragile testimony goes on being heard: ‘We have seen the Lord!’ In the flesh? No. In the story? Possibly? In our life together? Absolutely.”

I love how she ends it—“In our life together? Absolutely.” In our life together. That is why it is so important that our lectionary reading from Acts goes along with the story of Jesus Christ and Thomas today. The disciples, the ones who had seen the resurrection and touched Jesus’ side, had to live life together. The very first Christians, the ones whose story is told in Acts, weren’t able to touch Jesus’ side, but they were probably able to hear the story first-hand—they had to live life together. And so do we, more than 2000 years later. Even though the story of Christ has been recorded for us over the years, we are also called to live life together, to live as Christ told us, to love as Christ commanded us. And our story from Acts tells us how to do that. As the whole community is gathered together, they share their story with one another, and then they share what they have with each other—I love that the story tells us that there was not a needy person among them. Those who were fortunate enough to own their own homes or land sold them and gave the proceeds to those who had nothing to their names. The money was laid out and distributed to any who had need. Everyone, EVERYONE, the poor, the rich, and the in-between, was taken care of. Just as those first Christians weren’t able to touch Christ’s side, they tried their best to retell his story, to show his story, to live as Christ lived, to share as Christ shared, to love as Christ loved. And we are called to do the same—to live as Christ lived, to share as he shared, to love as Christ loved. To live life together. To live life together as people of the resurrection, to live and share and love as Easter people. Thanks be to God.